GOP always wrong

It's weird to analyze US history and the conservative track record. One would think that both the left and right ideologies trade off being CORRECT on this or that issue. Ya know, two parties are pocked with failures and triumphs right?
The amazing truth is that conservatism in America is marked by relentless fucking up. Even when enlightened thinkers were called Republicans and pushed freedom of American slaves, the conservative element fought to keep humans in chains. The very founding of the country grew from liberal minds rather than conservative potty heads who preached cowardice toward British protections.
The rest of the story of conservative failure is well known. It's kind of a defining American story. Think for a moment about this list. Voter rights, civil rights, Vietnam, woman's rights, and corporate corruption. Let's throw tobacco in there too. Without the common sense of fallible liberals, you KNOW there would still be clowns chain-smoking on every airplane in the sky. In fact, it's tough to name issues where the American progressives were NOT up against conservative resistance. Think about the current gay marriage issue. It's STILL going on!
For fun, let's go back still further. Think of the life and messages of Jesus Christ. About as liberal as you get. The Paragon of Liberalism. Think about scientific enlightenment. Conservatism within the church is a concentrated power that is sadly, just as backward as the secular brand. Copernicus was just one thinker suppressed and punished by the church for trying to advance our understanding of the natural world. This denial of scientific enlightenment is alive and well today in the absurd debates about stem cell research, abstinence only programs and of course, "intelligent design" in schools.
In short, we can fairly say that looking at the body politic throughout US history, conservatives are the constipation. Sorry for the visual. And if you're one of these people, sorry for the truth.